2021 took place after an election, under a majority government, with COVID still blanketing the news. Consequently, Aotearoa enjoyed few standout political moments, besides the amazingly awful Collins-Bridges blowup. That means that most of these awards are going international. My challenge continues to be shining a light on figures who have gotten less attention, for better or for worse.
The David Cameron award for biggest upset: Député Éric Ciotti
France's centre-right party, Les Républicains, almost picked a far-right candidate to run for President. Ciotti lost his lead on the second ballot, but has dragged them to the right. Between a third of voters picking Marine Le Pen in 2019, Macron’s own attempts to shore up his right flank, and the rise of another far-right Éric, television host Zemmour, in the polls, the French public is ever-more-deeply demonstrating its vulnerability to extremism.
Runnerup: you can’t spell “upset” without “US”
West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin spent the whole year negotiating trillions of dollars worth of infrastructure spending, to be the signature act of Biden’s presidency. He then promptly told all of his Democrat colleagues to start over, right before Christmas. The description of “upset” suits his actions, and understates the reaction.
Scandal of the year: Sausage roll-gate (sausage-roll gate? Sausageroll-gate? This isn’t even political)
Best-kept secret: the Taliban are the bad guys??
The Taliban’s final offensive split a dual-track military and media approach. As with many other hotspots this year like Myanmar, it’s unsurprising (though disappointing) that the media has largely moved on to covering new topics. Few mention the growing risk of economic collapse and humanitarian disaster in Afghanistan. What was startling was the willingness of many outlets to contemplate the possibility the Taliban have gone soft (they have not), making their governance of Afghanistan not such a bad thing (it is).
Runner-up: the existence of any party not called “Labour”
In fairness, the Māori Party have cut through a few times, and David Seymour has of course been “unofficial leader of the opposition”. On the other hand, I can think of two Greens policies this year, from a party theoretically on the side of a majority government. Their caucus, and ACT’s for that matter, have left zero impression. Who are these people? What do they do for their jobs? Where is Winston Peters, and when will he finally give up and go home?
Day I can’t believe this happened this year: January 6th
Seriously, that was under a year ago?
Worst hill to die on: Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard; runner-up: ACT leader David Seymour
The hei-tiki dispute with Rawiri Waititi was stupid, and I’m glad the rules changed, but what really puzzles me is the attitude that two Air Jordans + one Member of Parliament = disrespect. First of all, Seymour copped no criticism whatsoever for making shoewear the most important political issue of the day. Calling for law and order on a fashion-police dispute ought to throw into doubt his reputation for being laser-focused on bread-and-butter issues. Secondly, Mallard’s rambling about drug dealers and gang members was bizarre and wildly out of touch with Waititi and his constituents, who had every right to call him racist.
To take a last look at this from a different light: surely an MP’s actions speak loudest about whether they respect the public and our lawmaking process - more than their clothes ever can? Even the most incompetent or corrupt MP can hide their failings behind the respectability our society confers on anyone in a suit and tie. Parliamentary standards “dropping” to permit a wider range of wear would be beneficial all around.
The Strong Team award for political management: Christopher Luxon
Luxon has espoused a commitment to picking the best people for the job - and who wouldn’t? No politician can nakedly admit to making political appointments. However, we’re all cynical about the prospect that just picking the best person for the job could actually happen. That’s deeply depressing to think our top public servants take power thanks to their popularity, irrespective of their talents.
What has caught my interest is that he seems genuine on this score. His whole pitch is as the businessy outsider who manages a team. He must present a new take on political management, or he has no reason to be leader. His approach as a new leader focused on issues hardly hot off the press, like education and productivity. That suggests that he’s just yarning about what he genuinely wants to do. Aside from the obvious political deal that gifted Simon Bridges the Finance portfolio, the list he produced, with some seemingly inexplicable movements (Simeon Brown, Todd McClay) from a political perspective, imply he is serious about merit first. We’ll see if this approach works, proves politically naive, or wasn’t the case in the first place.
The Lazarus with a triple bypass award for political survival: Judith Collins
MP, minister, The Crusher™, on her final warning, on her second final warning, sacked, reappointed, leadership runner-up, leadership runner-up again, leader, election loser, just a loser in general, no-confidence’d, and she’s still in caucus!
Worst prediction: me, right now, claiming Grant Robertson’s fiscal policy will put us all in trouble
My line on Labour is that they spend not nearly enough. They underfund critical services to help people fight and escape mental and physical illness, homelessness, food and financial insecurity, and a host of other ills. With all of that being said…is now really the best time to finally open the pocketbook, Grant? The economy has proved far more pandemic-proof than expected. Inflation seems to be surging across the Western world, with no end in sight to supply-chain sorrows. Flushing borrowed cash into the economy may only accelerate rising prices, burning a hole in Kiwi wallets, most of all those at the bottom Labour likes to help. I can’t believe I’m saying it and this can’t age well, I’ll look back and laugh when inflation abates in 2022 and we’re all relieved, but I just don’t feel any more that this will be for the best.
The Rangitata accountability award: Labour MP Louisa Wall
We all know that, in the 21st century, the CCP is carrying out a genocide in Xinjiang, even as they trade and cooperate with us. We suffer from a dearth of people in power fleshing out our response. We are missing out on urgently needed debate about whether we can afford the costs of reassessing our relationship, and what help we could offer to save or assist at least some Uyghurs. Louisa Wall is, once again, sacrificing the chance of political advancement to speak up about humans being treated with indignity and inhumanity. Now that’s a public service rendered.
The “Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?” award for eloquent rhetoric: U.K Prime Minister Boris Johnson
This man’s “Peppa Pig” speech makes the Godspeed You! Black Emperor Coney Island guy look like Cicero.
Runner-up: U.S Senator Josh Hawley
If you're blaming liberals on the internet for your excessive laziness, pornography consumption, and video gaming, you might just be a fucking loser.
Politician of the Year: Congressman and President-Elect Gabriel Boric
Latin America had two very similar and very different elections this year. Peru and Chile both went to the polls to choose between a left-winger challenging the status quo, and a far-right figure associated with past dictatorships. Both chose the left. In Peru, the election was decided by just one quarter of one percent of the vote. The loser put a decidedly Trumpian twist on the eternal formula of claiming she was defeated by fraud.
In Chile, Gabriel Boric smartly united his young, diverse base with moderates he could persuade of the sensibility of leftness. I am sure some will criticise him for softening his tone - maybe I will in time if the substance sags too - but you cannot deny he got results. He staved off the chance his rival, the son of a Nazi lieutenant and Pinochet apologist, would take control. Doing so by over 10% of the vote, he slammed shut any window to challenge the result.
The global status quo is not working, but too many of us, especially those in control, are too afraid of the changes we need to make. President Boric promises a formula that reconciles those whose support is needed with a genuinely transformative mission. He is not afraid to speak about polarising issues like “patriarchy”, nor sometimes in Mapuche (an indigineous reo). He has done all of that while being just a 35-year-old, whose OCD once required hospitalisation. We shall see if he keeps his promises and if his plans work, but he is right to make out his election as a truly historic event one way or the other.
Runner-up: Labour Minister Kiritapu Allan
Doing the mahi of a single mum, directing the national tsunami response, and beating cervical freaking cancer??? Ka mau te wehi! Onwards and upwards for this hero.
2022’s brightest prospect: Boris Johnson
Guess who just got tickets to a vote of no-confidence? 😎 And all he had to do was disobey his own COVID regulations, never apologise, completely fail to notice covert photography, drink wine, eat cheese and lie. That was a true Christmas miracle.
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